Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Scares The Hell Out Of Me...

There are few things in life that scare me. Very few things, but some of them scare the hell out of me.

Part of the overall lack of fear is a size factor. Since early in high school I have been over six feet tall, and always very strong. Hockey and football throughout school also made me very unafraid of physical contact/confrontation. On top of my physique, I live in a "Right To Carry" state and I have exercised my right since I got my permit done at 21. So for the most part a "dark alley" scenario isn't scary to me. I'm bigger than most people, and I know their only weakness, bullets... I am only terrified of something large, and something small.


Something small: Spiders

Fuck spiders. I can't stand spiders. I do not like spiders at all. Not any spider. Even right now just typing about spiders makes feel unwell. And I know why I hate spiders so much.

Arachnophobia came out when I was seven. For some reason when it made it to VHS the next year someone thought that showing it to the eight year old was a great plan. Thanks a lot ass hole. That movie scared the shit out of me, even though I understand now that the effects are, by todays standards, laughable. Ugh... Seriously, even typing about it sucks.


Something large: Sharks

Let me get one thing straight. I love sharks. Sharks are bad ass creatures. I just don't want to be in the water anywhere near them. They seem like the ninjas of the sea, and just like ninjas, I know that they can just flip out and begin killing at any time.

A while back I was on vacation. I had spent the morning surfing, and like so many time before, I came off my board. In the water I struck a SMALL hammerhead shark. Probably no more than four feet long.

I have not been surfing since. At the end of the day I know that it was more afraid of me than I was of it. I had to be twice it's size and appeared out of nowhere... But that doesn't matter. It kind of put me off of surfing. Kind of like God giving me a smack to the back of the head. Maybe that sport isn't for me.

Since then I haven't been in the ocean, and I am pretty sure that will be the case for a while. :-) Something about hitting a damn shark and having nothing happen that makes me think I have used up all of my ocean related luck. Living in the Pacific Northwest we have incredibly cold ocean water anyways, so I have no need to go anywhere near that for now. Lake Washington is enough for me.

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