What Can Brown Do For You?

They can FUCK UP your delivery and your day.

Screw UPS... Screw them even if I find their marketing to be clever (and I think I have mentioned before how much I appreciate good marketing).

Today I had something important that was supposed to be delivered. I had it shipped to my office address and was planning on picking it up there. It was the first thing that I was going to do today. One of the main reasons that I made sure to be there early. I even made sure that there was a sign on the door making it clear that even though almost every bank in the country was closed, we were indeed open. Then I parked my car right in front of the building. Right at the door just to make sure that it looked as though people were there. And turned on all of the lights first thing when I got there. Do we all see where I am going with this?

The UPS guy is almost always in before ten. He usually beats the FedEx guy, and thats one of the reasons I chose UPS for this delivery VS FedEx. I was all but confident that UPS would come through on this one.

So when at 10:15 I had no package, I got puzzled and pulled up the tracking info.

Package X 9:07AM - Delivery not possible, business was closed. Will reroute for delivery next business day.

LYING SACK OF SHIT DRIVER! Not only with my full window view of the parking lot did I never see any UPS truck (and I was watching, because I have been anticipating this delivery), but the dumb asshole had the nerve to claim that we were closed at 9:07. I arrived well before 8:30AM and by 9:00AM there were at least eight people in the office. He never came by, he just made an assumption based upon what my business is.

So I called UPS, dealt with the phone tree for about 10 minutes until finally getting a human being, who told me that they would call me back with the status of the package.

On the return call almost an hour later they tell me that the package was already returned to the DC, and that the earliest they could deliver was the next day. No apology for not attempting to deliver my package, no explanation as to why the driver did not do so in the first place.

I mean, I get it. He saw a financial institution and thought; "OK, banks are closed on Presidents Day..." Failing to realize that we are more than just a bank, and that I pretty much would live in the office with a large enough TV and a comfy enough sofa. But for crying out loud, at least pull through the parking lot and take a quick look at the door. Make a tiny bit of an effort.

Or to his parent company, at least apologize for the lie. Give me that small bit of courtesy.

So... "Here's what Brown can do for me." Shove their clever marketing up their asses. I will ship everything FedEx or USPS from now on.