Anything in black is them. Anything in blue is me.
"That guy seriously said to me; 'I don't understand why I got charged overdraft fees. You need to refund them.' He's had a bank account with us for seven years and does this at least once every couple of months. This shit ain't new!"
Customer and I:
"Can you notarize a copy of a birth certificate? From Mexico?"
"I'm sorry, I can't certify a copy of any birth certificate. US or non-US."
"Well can you notarize a form saying that you watched me make a copy of the original?"
"I really can't. Unfortunately, part of that's policy, and part of that is the fact that I really have no clue what the difference between a fake Mexican birth certificate and a real one is in the first place."
Banker:
"You have to be kidding me? I have to do all this paperwork because someone went and died?"
(I really had to hold back laughter. It just sounded so heartless.)
Teller:
"Stormin, that irritating guy is holding for you on line one. And that chick that is crazy is waiting in the lobby."
"The hot one?"
"Like I said, crazy in the lobby and irritating on the phone..."
"Take a message. I'll call him back. It is the hot one in the lobby."
Customer:
"Yeah, I heard that (Major Competitor) is offering this amazing rate. And then I remembered that everything about banking with them sucked and that's why I moved everything here."
(We both started laughing.)
Banker:
"Did you just schedule me for that LAST Tuesday..."
"FUCK"
"So did you schedule it for next Tuesday or last Tuesday???"
"I just said 'FUCK' didn't I? What's your guess."
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